Mailbag

Check out all the great letters everybody is sending to their new friends in the 1%. If you haven’t gotten yourself a pen pal yet, what are you waiting for? It’s lonely at the top. Choose a pen pal and help a banker feel just a little closer to the rest of us!

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  • Congratulations, Mr. Stumpf! | 6  

    To: John G Stumpf, Wells Fargo
    Dear Mr. Stumpf,

I just wanted to write you a message, because I wanted to make sure you are aware of just how well your bank is doing at exceeding last year's numbers of $4.9 billion in bank account fees! I work two jobs(retail and freelance) to keep up with my student loan payments ($700/mo), mortgage ($1100/mo), utilities, insurance, credit, and two car payments ($1500/mo).  I have so many payments, sometimes my account gets really low, and I like to pretend its a game to see if my paycheck will clear in time before the payment goes through! Its very exciting, and when I lose, YOU WIN! $30 each time! And then, if I forget to check my account balance before doing something silly, like getting a cup of coffee so I don't fall asleep driving, or getting really hungry and having to eat something, YOU win even more! I don't ever do it on purpose, but that's okay. I still get breakfast, don't wreck from being tired, and I'm helping you to exceed last year's numbers!

CONGRATULATIONS on all your success! May you do beautiful things with it!
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